I know, what does that headline mean? Right?

I recently decided that I wanted to start helping more in the kitchen of our house. After 12 years of covering my meal night obligations with fast food pick ups, frozen pizzas, or reheating leftovers from my wife’s elaborately prepared recipes, I was kind of getting the impression that I was “taking shortcuts.”

If I was an NFL player, this is a sure fire way of getting “cut” or placed on waivers, so I had to do something to show that I still wanted to improve my game. I signed up for a Community College Cooking class, but it was cancelled. Turns out I was the only the one to sign up?

But low and behold, wonders of the intranet, I was contacted by Todd M. Civin, from JKSCommunications, the publicist for a new book titled “Cheater BBQ- Barbecue Anytime, Anywhere, in Any Weather”

The premise of the book was perfect for my cook slacking at home, and also ideal for possible improvement of our lot menu in the Vikingstailgate.com parking lot.

The Experiment:
Normally for book reviews, I read the entire book, and write my opinion, but for this one, I was going to try something completely different. This time, I was going to test a few random recipes, and then serve them to my harshest cooking critics; my wife, and my two kids.

The Preparation:
I chose the recipe Hobo Crock Turkey Breast (page 99) with the Cheater Basic Rub (page 44). It looked healthy, tempting and most importantly it looked like something I could do with ease. All I needed was crock pot, and the ingredients.

I went to Cub Foods in here Minnesota, and bought everything on the list. With a little coaching from my wife on my way out door, I was told I could find all the good spices somewhere between the Vegetables and meat.

I had only one problem finding one of the items; the LIQUID, aka BOTTLED SMOKE. With my son at my side, we walked up and down every aisle, scouring for this needle in the hay stack. Finally, against every fiber of instinct in my being, I stopped and asked for directions.
I was told that I could find this precious ingredient in the same aisle as the ketchup, mustard and BBQ sauces. “It will be in a clear bottle, and it will look like smokey.”
With that sage advice, I went to aisle. With a whiny, tired kid at my side, and sore feet to boot, I grabbed a bottled that looked like it fit the bill. We went home with our turkey breast and fixins’, but I had an uneasy feeling that I had picked the wrong item.
My wife, went through the items when I got back, and the first thing she pulled out was the bottle in question.
“What’s this?, she queried.
“Um… liquid smoke?” I answered sheepishly.
“Dude, did you know this is a grilling marinade? Why would you buy this?”
I was busted, embarrassed and “called out.” This would be why I don’t often get the nod to shop for those “hard to find” items with exotic coupon combinations. I am sort of like the solid Running Back who can run hard, but can’t pick up a blitz on passing downs. Tail between the lags, we stopped by the store later that night to exchange the erroneously purchased marinade, and hunt down the smoke in a bottle.
The next morning, I prepped the recipe. It took less than 30 minutes to make the rub, get the crock pot prepped with aluminum, cut up the onion, and add all the the ingredients to the turkey breast. With very little help from my better half, I even managed to get to turn the crock pot on!
We spent the day watching the Vikings dominate the Seahawks while playing with the kids and smelling the sweet aroma from the kitchen.

The Results:
Finally the moment had come. Time to serve the meal and hear the reviews. The first person who get a serving was the baby, who had just turned 1 year 3 months old. We chopped out the turkey breast for her and put it on the tray.
“Mmmmmmmmmm,” she mumbled, signalling for more.
“Well I am one for one!, ” I proclaimed proudly, knowing that she pretty much says the same thing for any meat or poultry we serve up to her.
Next, came the 5-year old mite hockey player. He is bit more finicky, and has not ever been a fan of poultry or pork. This would be a tough sell.
I cut off a few slices, and put them on his plate. He ate, smiled and said, “I like it daddy, I like it better than anything mommy has cooked, EVER!”
Now, that’s a loyal son, but I really think he was exaggerating. My wife is a fantastic cook, and actually could be a professional chef if she wanted. The woman does recipes from America’s Test Kitchen, and has a collection of cook books that rival my collection of Vikings games on DVD. I mean, if there was ever an expert of fine cooking, I am proud to say, that it would be her.
“So…. what do you think?” I asked her, expecting a direct and poignant critique.
“Well, honestly, it is really good. The breast is a little dry, but most turkey breast is hard to keep completely moist, and that is not the recipe’s fault. I think you did well, and the taste is very good. You could do this again, and try some other rubs with it too to keep it different. I am impressed that you could pull this off with just a crock pot, and basic preparations. Good job.”
So, there you have it. One recipe, one random attempt, and plenty of left overs later, I am very proud of my first achievement with the help of this book. I would strongly recommend this resource for those who need to impress a hearty lot of tailgaters from the lot, a first date, or those with no cooking experience at all (like me).
I know I will be using this book more in the future, as I try to become a better cook for my family.
Cheater BBQ is less than $20, and You can buy at Amazon.com. You won’t get a better bargain for such a great assortment of tailgating recipes!!!

Listen to what the authors Mindy Merrell & R.B. Quinn say about their BBQ method, on the
Eat Drink & Be Merry podcast.

More About the Book

Barbecue is tons of fun. It’s smoke and fire, sticky sauces, ribs, pork butt, smoked chicken and brisket, and even anything off a hot grill. Barbecue means party, friends, togetherness.

Real barbecue is also tons of work. Exhausting smoke-fests where fanatics tend flames, split hickory, mop meats and swat flies are infrequent summer spectacles for most of us. In the real world, “barbecue” is confined to the same-old grilled chicken breasts, a clicker stop on Food Network’s BBQ with Bobby Flay or a rack of baby backs at T.G.I. Friday’s.

Now there’s Cheater BBQ. Cheater BBQ is the first cookbook to stake out the middle ground between the unattainable perfect pit and the everyday kitchen. No matter your lifestyle, skills or the weather, Cheater BBQ is the easy answer for feeding friends and family great barbecue-style menus at home, on the lake, at the big game or at the track. It handily brings indoors favorite techniques for smoking and grilling, but without lighting a match. Low and slow cooked Cheater Pulled Pork, Cheater Oven Bag Ribs and Cheater Smoky Brisket take little more than an oven or an electric slow cooker, a roll of aluminum foil and some all-natural liquid smoke.

Cheater BBQ is home-cooked barbecue without struggle. Cheater Carne Adovada may not sound glamorous coming from a slow cooker, but you get a good night’s sleep and a spicy, succulent pot of Mexican barbecue in the morning. In kitchens across America, without fire or fanfare, home cooks (and plenty of restaurants) are already serving some sort of indoor barbecue. Just ask Tom Hanks who wrote about his own slow cooker barbecue often served on the set for cast and crew. (The Man Who Aged Me, Tom Hanks, The New York Times, April 27, 2006).

Is Cheater Barbecue good? It’s fantastic. Does it taste like barbecue? Yes, it does. In test after test around the kitchen table, Cheater Pulled Pork and Cheater Ribs disappeared just as fast as Memphis’ Corky’s, Nashville’s Witt’s and even backyard-smoked pork and ribs.

It’s simple. Live, love, cheat.