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We are not sorry for your big loss yesterday. You should know by now that #4 “Captain Intercepto” is about as clutch as a treadless Buick in a snowstorm. It sucks losing a NFC Championship at home huh? Anyway, to help ease your pain, enjoy some humor. This is how you know you are still a Packers fan:

1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
than your spouse.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the
dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You’ve been married three times and still have the
same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is “out of your league”
bowls on a different night.

5. Jack Daniel’s makes your list of “most admired
people.”

6. You wonder how service stations keep their
restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after
saying, “Hey watch this.”

8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

9. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
fan.

10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled
Banner are, “Cheeseheads start your engines.”

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.

14. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and
down, depending on how much gas is in it.

15. You have to go outside to get something from the
fridge.

16. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

17. You need one more hole punched in your card to
get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

18. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because
there’s a law against it.

19. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your
wife drunk.

20. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

21. Your front porch collapses and kills more than
five dogs.

22. Your quarterback pisses away his and your last chance to lose another Superbowl by throwing interceptions! haha

Everyone has the right to their opinions, be they negative or positive. It’s not only the right of the fans to freely express themselves, it is also “protected” in the Bill the Rights.

That being said, it bugs me when other Vikings fans start inferring that they are more loyaly than other Vikings fans. Case in point, a recent MySpace blog, titled “Where Were You?” was sent out to other self-proclaimed Vikings fans on that same web site.

In the article, the author infers that “negative” Vikings fans had turned their back on their team, spewing out proclamtions to Fire Childress, throw games, and mail in the season.

“Did you gripe about how terrible your Vikings were? When the faithful called for you to have patience did you turn your back and vomit ugly empty words?
Where were you?”

The author goes on to suggest that loyal Vikings fans like himself (we call these fans the “rose color glass wearing, purple kool aid drinking loyalists”) would never turn their back on their team or doubt their management. These fans, the true fans, were always loyal, and it was now up to them to decide if they could let other fans back on the “Viking bandwagon” again.

“Will you climb aboard again, or will you lay in wait like a vulture. Perching there on your self made pedestal with mouth dripping for another chance to rip into your own. Or will you have learned and choose faith and fanship?”

To this I write, these critcial words, “huh?”

I am not ashamed for calling for Childress departure, nor am I ashamed for doubting the offensive decisions that were happening ALL OF LAST YEAR and INTO THIS YEAR. The fact is the Vikings were 3-6, coming off a 34-0 ass whipping to the Packers (the 4th loss in a row to the Cheeseheads under Childress by the way) and at their lowpoint.

I wrote then, that this team had hit rock bottom. It was embarrasing to be in Lambeau being offered sympathy beer by Packers fans. If the author of this blog could have been there in Lambeau, seeing the smug ass cheese fans jumping on top of Vikings vheicles, starting fights in the lot, and being holier than thou, NFL fans, maybe he/she could understand the frustration of Vikings fans with “not so stellar” opinions of the 2007 season circa November 11th.

The team was gutless, heartless, and passionless in Lambeau that day, and if anyone could have come out that day at Lambeau with a positive word about the team, I would have personally driven them to the insane asylum. The team was pathetic.

I do agree with the author when he/she writes

“Playoffs or not, Superbowl or not, this has been a good year and we have seen our worst days.”

I am NOT a “Rose-colored glasses kind of fan.” I pay big money for season tickets, roadtrips, and tailgating parking. If I see someting in my team I don’t like, I gotta say it. Yes, I was jaw-jacking about the lame ass purple effort this season through November 11th. I am not the type of person who likes losing, and I do not accept 34-0 or 41-0 games lightly.

I have a right to express my feelings (drunken or sober), so I will. If it takes sucking and embarrasment to motivate your team, well, congrats to Childress for figuring that out. I am very happy for the Vikings coach who used this negative start, the piss poor record, the embarrassment of another doughnut and spin it into motivation for a 4-game winning streak. Kudos to the adjustments that were made to put the Vikings into the playoff picture. That is great.

But, the fact is the team is 7-6 and hasn’t done anything yet. Arizona and New Orleans are right there breathing down the necks. I have always had very high expectations for my team. I do not like 2-5 and 3-6 records. I am a product of the Purple Power Years, when it was our “right” to win the NFC and go to the Bowl every season. Anything less, is “settling” and I for one, will not apologize for being PISSED at the mismanagement of this team early in the year and most important losing 4 games to the F’N Packers in 2 years? NO WAY.

Monday Night the Vikings get to play on National TV in their first meaningful game at home in many years. I hope the winning streak continues. I will be there cheering and tailgating, and doing my part to help. I will drink my dome beers, buy a program, and maybe some peanuts, you know, buy stuff that puts money in their pockets. Hopefully that will help them be happy.

What makes me happy is to be entertained. I pay for that right, and like most Vikings fans I am most entertained by winning in a competitive game. I don’t pay money to see through “rose color glasses.” I don’t pay money for autographs, and quite frankly I don’t think NFL Players are heroes. They are hard working entertainers, and are compensated for it handsomely. We pay them (indirectly) to entertain US, to represent US. I don’t pay to kiss anybodys ass ass (unless her name is Ginger, and she works the pole at Dream Girls; but that’s another story…)

According to the Wonderlic Personnel Test, the dumbest team in the NFL happens to be the Green Bay Packers.

The Wonderlic is used by teams as part of their package of factors for drafting strategy.

The Minnesota Vikings players are tied with the Baltimore Ravens for 14th among the NFL’s 32 teams with an average Wonderlic Personnel Test score of 21.5, according to a story in the Friday September 30, 2005 issue of the Wall Street Journal. The Wonderlic, a 12-minute standardized test with 50 questions, is given to college football players hoping to be taken in the NFL draft.

The Journal gathered test results from websites, published reports and individuals close to the NFL and then verified “as many as we could with agents and teams and calculated the average scores for each team.”

The Journal reported Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper scored an average 21; center Matt Birk, a Harvard grad, had a 46.

The St. Louis Rams players finished atop the listings with a 24.6 average, followed by the Oakland Raiders (23.3), Tennessee Titans (23.2), Tampa Bay Buccaneers (23.2) and San Diego Chargers (23).

Last? The Green Bay Packers had a 19.1 average, with nine players scoring below 14.

Packer wideout Javon Walker had an extremely low score of an almost unheard of… 9. It almost makes you wonder if he knows how to read. Did he actually graduate from high school and college or did they just promote him so that they wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore?