It’s hard not to like Peyton Manning. He is the most prolific quarterback in recent times, and won a Super Bowl, giving Tony Dungy his much deserved Super Bowl Ring. His daddy was a respected NFL MVP for the New Orleans Saints and played on the Vikings worst team on record (3-13 in 1984). His little brother Eli served up some sweet interceptions for the purple in great win over the New York Giants in 2005, and Peyton just seems to be that All-American, “Gee-Golly” kind of loveable hero.

Sprint Commercial 2005

Saturday Night Live After the Super Bowl Win over the Hated Bears

Just when you think the cute Saturday Night Live episodes, and funny commercials have run their course, along comes the Reggie Bush rivalry ad for 2007:

But enough already! Peyton, you are great Quarterback, and even a better image guy for the NFL. That is why we are taking this opportunity to officially dump a beer on you for the 3rd season in a row! Sorry bro, but we need a QB, and we can’t have your services, so “Bombs away!”

Oh and here’s a good read from http://www.usatoday.com/sports/columnist/brennan/2003-11-06-brennan_x.htm

it’s a story about Peyton Manning mooning some trainer when he was at Tennessee. It taints his Boy Scout rep.

Do you really know your sports hero?
By Christine Brennan
You’re a sports fan, so you want to believe. You want to believe so badly in this guy, this one particular guy, the player you’re cheering for on Sunday afternoon from your family room. You just know he is one of the good guys. How many of them are left, anyway? You sit there with your son or your daughter and you watch and you tell them that that quarterback is one terrific human being. You’re thinking Boy Scout. You’d love your son to grow up to be just like him.
You think you know him. You really don’t, but you think you do, because you see him on the highlights every Sunday and because you remember his father. The dad was a pretty good player when you were a kid, and that’s reassuring, because the son looks like he, too, is from another era, with his short hair and his aw-shucks way. A younger, taller Ron Howard would have to play him in the movie, right? And Donna Reed would have to play his mother.

They call Peyton Manning a throwback, and, to you, he is just that, in more ways than one. Not only as a person, but also as a link to a time when sports could be just sports, without the police blotters and lawyers, when you could cheer for a guy without worrying that, the next day, you’d be hearing that he allegedly assaulted his wife or drove drunk or even was involved in a murder. With Peyton Manning, you’d never have to worry about what you’d tell the kids.

Or so you thought. All right, so if you were really paying attention, you may remember that back at Tennessee in 1996, when Manning already was an all-SEC quarterback, there was that mooning incident, but, hey, you’d say, can’t the lady take a joke? Manning said he meant to drop his pants to show his rear end to another male athlete, not the female trainer. Boys will be boys, you’d say, right? But the female trainer apparently got in the way and saw Manning’s backside. So Manning got into a little trouble. So the woman received a settlement from the university and left town. Things happen, you’d say. But that’s ancient history. Peyton’s still a great guy. Does all that charitable work, is a fabulous role model for kids.

Except that, while apparently everyone else, including the woman, forgot about the incident, one man did not. That fellow was Peyton Manning. In 2000, he wrote a book with his father, Archie, called Manning:A Father, His Sons, and a Football Legacy. In it, for some unknown and extremely ill-advised reason (our hero couldn’t be the vindictive type, could he?), Peyton Manning decided to revive the mooning story, calling his action “crude, maybe, but harmless,” while saying the female trainer should have “shrugged (it) off.” He also said the woman “had a vulgar mouth.”

The female trainer, Jamie Ann Naughright, who by then was teaching at Florida Southern College with a doctorate in health education, was minding her own business when word got out that Manning had called her vulgar and dredged up what he did to her.

Soon, copies of the book were all over campus, Naughright says, and the resulting notoriety led to a demotion at work.

Then came the lawsuit. (How could there not be a lawsuit?) And the court documents. And the explicit details about the 1996 training room incident from Naughright’s attorney that, if correct, show that Manning’s definition of a mooning and your definition of a mooning are two entirely different things.

Naughright’s attorney says his client, doing her job, was crouching behind Manning to determine why he was having pain in one of his feet when “entirely unprovoked, Peyton Manning decided to pull down his shorts and sit on Dr. Naughright’s head and face.” Court documents add graphic body-part details, which we shall omit because you certainly can get the picture.

All right, you say, but this is Peyton Manning, the Boy Scout, and it’s just another one of those he-said, she-said stories, right? Well, not exactly. Add another “he” to the equation — on her side. The court record includes a letter to Manning from former Tennessee cross country runner Malcolm Saxon, who Manning said was the intended target of the so-called mooning.

“Bro, you have tons of class,” Saxon’s letter says, “but you have shown no mercy or grace to this lady who was on her knees seeing if you had a stress fracture. … You might as well maintain some dignity and admit to what happened. … Your celebrity doesn’t mean you can treat folks that way.”

So you’re a sports fan, and you want to believe and, for quite a few years, you’ve had many wonderful thoughts about Peyton Manning. They’re still there, but now something else is there, too. You thought you knew the guy. Turns out you’re still learning.

Many say that T.O. is misunderstood, just a victim of his past with a confusion for defininition of his present. For all his skills—and I have to admit that I will draft him anytime he is available in a fantasy football draft—Terrell Owens is better known for his stupidity and childlike handling of the press, temmates and coaches than his accomplishments on the gridiron. I gotta give him some credit for creative touchdown celebrations but whining that he doesn’t see the ball enough, and forcing the hand of management with threats and demands, is BORING and PREDICTABLE.

In 2004, Terrell was shopping for a new contract, attempting to price up his team, the San Francisco 49′ers and force a trade (which later sent him to the Philly Birds), and was qouted by the Miami Herald as saying,

“At the end of the day, I don’t have to worry about what people think of me, whether they hate me or not. People hated on Jesus. They threw stones at him and tried to kill him, so how can I complain or worry about what people think?”

“How can you justify hating me after I worked so hard rehabilitating from a broken leg to get back to the Super Bowl to help our team try to win? Really, you’ve got to look at who the villain really is in this thing.”

We have a pretty good idea who the a-hole Villain is. It’s T.O. and he seems to think that we actually care. Here’s an idea for you Jackass: “JUST SHUT UP and PLAY FOOTBALL!” I hope you retire, because we are sick of you, sick of you and that pompous agent! Just shhhhhhhhhhhhh!

In September of 2006, The Smoking Gun Website reported that T.0. tried to commit suicide:
“SEPTEMBER 27–Controversial football star Terrell Owens attempted suicide last night by taking an overdose of prescription pain pills, according to a Dallas Police Department report. A copy of the report can be found below. The Dallas Cowboys wide receiver, 32, was depressed and told cops that he was trying to harm himself, the report states. A female companion of the athlete told officers that Owens last week filled a prescription for 40 pain pills, but had only taken five of the pills up to yesterday. Owens told police that he had taken the balance of the pills last night. The woman, who has been identified as Kim Etheredge, Owens’s publicist, also told responding officers (RO/S) that she observed Owens (identified in the report as “comp,” or complainant) put two pills in his mouth, which she tried to retrieve by placing her fingers in his mouth. He was treated at Baylor University Medical Center for a drug overdose. While the police document does not name Owens, Dallas media reports (including one from WFAA-TV, which broke the Owens story) have identified him as the “victim” referred to in the report. Early this morning, ESPN reported that Owens had been taken to a hospital emergency room after suffering an adverse reaction to painkillers, which had been prescribed as a result of broken hand suffered during a September 17 game against the Washington Redskins. (1 page)”

Some positive quotes about the Jackass in Dallas, now drenched in Viking Fan Beer suds for almost a decade.

“I just feel T.O. is going to carry on the tradition. I feel like my job is done.”
—Football legend Jerry Rice

“When I watch T.O. work, I see myself.”
—Rice

“The only thing that will keep Terrell Owens from being the best is Terrell Owens.”
—49ers receivers coach George Stewart

“Terrell does it all. He doesn’t take plays off. He blocks in the running game. He plays hard the whole game.”
—Rams cornerback Dexter McCleon

“It’s always a mismatch. If you try to get into his body, forget it. He’ll just throw you aside.”
—Falcons cornerback Ray Buchanan

“You’ve got to keep his yardage after the catch limited; that is probably the most important thing. He’s a threat short, in the quick passing game. He can break a tackle and go all the way.”
—Redskins secondary coach George Catavolos

“When he catches the ball and runs, it’s like he runs with anger.”
—Former 49ers quarterback Jeff Garcia

“He’s next generation, no doubt. If you let him get position on you, it’s over.”
—Redskins cornerback Fred Smoot

“He’s a lot like Michael Irvin. He’s a tough matchup for corners because he is 6-3. He’s better in the fourth quarter than the first.”
—Saints GM Randy Mueller

“I’d say he’s a pretty mellow guy in everyday life. He has his moments where he gets kind of wild like he does on the field, but for the most part he’s a reserved dude.”
—Former teammate J.J. Stokes

“Terrell Owens is the ultimate NFL athlete, exuding true passion, high every, and raw talent. Terrell stands out as a dominant figure in football.”
—President of Visual Concepts Entertainment Greg Thomas

“You know, you go to Pro Bowls and you see different guys that just kind of go through the motions at the Pro Bowls. He’s pretty much, the same as it is right now. You know, just continue to get good work in, run routes hard, catch the ball, and get a burst up field. You don’t see that much, especially with guys who make the Pro Bowl, their egos kind of get in the way. They think they are the best at what they do and then kind of take it easy out there. He’s trying to get better.”
—Eagles QB Donovan McNabb

“If [Owens] is thinking that people think he’s selfis,h he’s listening to 5 percent of the people out there.”
—Hall of Famer Steve Young

Okay, it’s 2005. The Vikings Boat Cruise Sex Scandal over a Bye Week is all the rave. The team is in disarray, scandal, and are the laughing stock of late night TV hosts. It’s an embarrasing point of Vikingsrecent history. The team needs a win. So, Head Coach Mike Tice promises a victory at Soldier Field. But wait, the hapless Viking will endure a crushing loss in the 2nd City. Pat Williams plays a good game, and Corey Chavous gets a pick, but other than that, there is NOTHING good about this game at all.

Along comes this dufus looking back-up QB from Purdue into the limelight of Chicago Beardown, and his name is Kyle Orton. What the hell are YOU and the Bears doing in First Place? You are a Rookie, your mustache looks bush league and you suck! Kyle Orton throws 2 TD’s and Thomas Jones scores 2 TD’s on the ground. This is a lowpoint for Viking fans. Instead of blaming the Vikings in disarray, we pin this on Orton.

More Reasons to Spill Beer on this Bear’s Deadbeat comes From Deadspin.com

Far be it from us to tell starting quarterbacks of first-place NFL teams how to spend their bye week, but we couldn’t help but post these pictures — sent to us by a reader — of Bears QB Kyle Orton, at a bar in Iowa City over the long weekend. It was taken on Thursday, hence the Blue Jays-Red Sox game in the background.

Our favorite part is the massive spillage not only down his shirt, but apparently all over his face. Of course, that bottle of Jack is half empty, so we suppose we should just be impressed that he’s still standing at all.

(Another photo after the jump.)

He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of “epic” and “historic” in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all.

(For the record, we admire Kyle’s attitude about drunk pictures of himself showing up on the Web, saying, essentially, “hey, whaddya gonna do? Doesn’t effect me.” If only more athletes were like Kyle and didn’t take themselves so darned seriously. Of course, other athletes don’t show up in as many drunk pictures on the Web as Kyle does either. Speaking of which, there’s another one after the jump.)He is a singular figure, standing alone, standing apart, standing above. He shall never be forgotten.

(Big thanks to the anonymous but alert Iowa City bar patron who sent us these pictures. Have any of your own? Email ‘em to tips@deadspin.com.

Okay so Captain JD Coke has a little Tommy Kramer in him? That means he won’t mind the suds down his back,right?

And if that’s Not ENOUGH REASON TO SPILL A BEER ON HIM:

Matt Schaub was a pain in the Vikings ass as a back-up for the Falcons in 2004-2005. In a preseason game in 2004, Scahub threw three touchdown passes in relief of [Michael Vick], leading the Falcons to a 27-24 victory. The rookie from Virginia completed 16 of 19 passes for 205 yards and no interceptions.

After replacing Vick midway through the second quarter, Schaub connected on his first pass, an 11-yard screen to Warrick Dunn. He fooled the defense with a pump fake on the next play and lofted a perfect pass to Michael Jenkins down the left sideline, and Jenkins sprinted into the end zone untouched for the 47-yard score.

Then again in 2005, Schaub spelled Vick and lead the Falcons to 30-10 ass whooping of the listless Vikings.

Message to Schaub: You back up Ron Mexico, you are Ron Mexico’s back up and you play better then he? Here have a beer…

About Matt Schaub
Matthew Rutledge Schaub (born June 25, 1981 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) is an American football quarterback who is currently the starting quarterback for the Houston Texans. He played quarterback at West Chester East High School, and went on to attend The University of Virginia where he set numerous records. The Atlanta Falcons selected Schaub as the 90th overall pick in the 2004 NFL Draft.

In 2004, Matt Schaub saw playing time in six games with the Atlanta Falcons, including starting the NFL week sixteen contest against the New Orleans Saints.

In 2005, Schaub was named the Most Valuable Player in the American Bowl preseason game in Tokyo, Japan. In front of 45,203 fans at the Tokyo Dome, Schaub completed 11 of 13 passes for 117 yards and two touchdowns in a 27-21 comeback victory over the Indianapolis Colts. During the regular season he played in 5 games, starting one. His lone start came against the New England Patriots in week 5; Schaub threw for 298 yards and three touchdowns in the 31-28 loss.

In March 2007, the Houston Texans acquired Schaub from the Falcons for second round picks in 2007 and 2008. As part of the deal, the teams also swapped first round picks in 2007, exchanging the Falcons’ 10th pick with the Texans’ 8th pick.[2] Schaub was introduced to his new team at a press conference on March 22, 2007, and the subsequent day, the Texans released David Carr, opening the door for Schaub to become their long-term starter.[3]

Update: Post Super Bowl 2008
“Michael Strahan. The guy is a millionaire but can’t even get his damn teeth fixed. no wonder that goldigger divorced him. he used the podium at the lombardi trophy presentation as a forum to crudely bash sports reporters instead of just winning with maturity and grace. then comes back to NYC and does the same thing.”

Original Submission:
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when at first, we try to deceive? Or something like that. Look, Michael Strahan has been a thorn in Vikingstailgate.com’s side ever since that 41-0 game back in 2001. He wasn’t the reason for the Vikings choke in the NFC Championship, but he was on the team that blanked its Super Bowl dreams. That’s a good reason to duce anyone in blue with some good flat beer to the helmet.

But wait, there’s more. We at Vikingstailgate.com are obligated to hate Brett Favre (I know, I know, he’s a warrior and a pain lovin freak that has stood the test of time of NFL brutality… and blah blah blah). In 2002, with time running out, and Strahan needing 1 sack to break all-time NFL sack record for a season, Favre and Gap Tooth made a deal.

Strahan got sack No. 22½ with 2:42 left in the fourth quarter, falling on Favre after the rolled out and went down at the feet of the defensive end. Favre clearly took a dive and let Strahan touch him for the historical sack. The play looked fake and as predetermined as an NBA fix because the Packers were leading 34-25 and Favre didn’t have a blocker in front of him on the rollout.

Favre, who joked during the week that he might “work out a little side deal” with Strahan to allow him to get the record, called a run in the huddle, teammates said. The quarterback insisted he changed the play to a naked bootleg to catch the Giants off guard, something he’s done five or six times this season.

“No, I didn’t,” Favre said when asked if he allowed Strahan to sack him. “That was a keep pass. I tried to get the edge but he got through.”

Brett’s a liar too bye the way.

Some More reasons to dump a beer on Strahan:

He wrote a tell all book about the NFL, but apparently didn’t include everything.
“You want to be an NFL star? You want to stand in my shoes?, Let’s say one day I came to you and offered you a million dollars to let me take a huge hunting knife and wear down the blade until it was rusty and really dull. Then, when it’s really dull and nasty, I would stick it into a pit of burning coals until the blade was white-hot. Finally, I would pull that sucker out of the flames and stab you over and over and over again. Take that blade and stab you in the ankles, your feet and your wrists. Not just stick it in but turn that rusty old knife and twist it when it’s sunk deep into your knees or shoulders. That is the reality of my NFL. Every single year I have somebody sink this awful, dreadful blade into a few parts of my body.”

How about we just cool that pain down with some beer? Strahan, Just another gap tooth, overrated piece of Brett Favre hugger. AND you play for the frickin Giants. Take a bath!

More Reasons:
In January of 2007, the New York Post Reported:
$15 MIL PENALTY TOPPLES GIANT, STRAHAN’S EX WINS ALMOST ALL
By JEANE MacINTOSH and TODD VENEZIA

January 13, 2007 — A judge sacked Michael Strahan’s bank account yesterday, ordering the New York Giants defensive end to pay his ex-wife Jean a whopping $15.3 million plus hundreds of thousands of dollars in child support as part of their divorce.
Judge James Convery blasted Strahan in a written ruling, saying the arguments he used to get out of coughing up the dough lacked “any credible evidence.”
The ruling means the gap-toothed grid standout will have to give his ex-wife more than half his net worth – as Convery held him to a prenuptial agreement stipulating he give Jean 50 percent of their joint marital assets and 20 percent of his yearly income from each year they were married.
Strahan tried to argue that he wasn’t responsible for the 20 percent because his wife failed to ask for it every year. But the judge said that “the plaintiff is not credible in his claim that the defendant never asked for her separate funds.”
Jean, who married the football player in 1999, celebrated the ruling yesterday.“It pays to tell the truth, and I told the truth,” she said. “I never asked for a penny more than the prenup that Michael and his lawyers wrote and made me sign. And all I ever asked for was that to be upheld.
“I’m thrilled that it was.”
The decision came after a divorce battle that left the popular player’s stellar reputation battered by allegations of adultery, forgery, lying and perversion.
It is also a huge financial tackle. Strahan must pay the $15.3 million and the extra child support even though his net worth is only about $22 million, according to court records.
With his career in its twilight years, this could be a blow from which his bank account never recovers.
But Jean said yesterday that it was his own fault. Strahan himself devised the uneven distribution spelled out in a prenup.
“He and his lawyer wrote it and made me sign it the night before we got married,” Jean said. “We were, at the time, very much in love.”
Jean Strahan had originally sought roughly $14 million, but the judge gave her back interest on the 20 percent annuity, raising the payout by $1.25 million.
The Giant will also have to pay $18,000 per month in child support, and will have to hand over a $311,150 lump sum for support dating back to August 2005. Jean will also get one of his four houses, but will have to pay him back for half of the mansion in Montclair, N.J.
Strahan lawyer Vicky Zigler declined to comment after receiving the decision in Essex County Family Court yesterday.
The couple was officially divorced last July after an acrimonious court battle that included allegations that Strahan:
* Ditched his wife and twin 2-year-old daughters, Isabella and Sophia, to hang out with alleged mistress Nicole “Cupcake” D’Oliveira on a trip to Phoenix.
* Jetted off to Caribbean islands with various other women, including the woman who sold the family their antique chairs.
* Secretly videotaped Jean’s sister, Denise, while she undressed in a guest bedroom. Cops were called, and Jean left him for a while, but he then allegedly came back after he deposited $30,000 in her bank account.
* Forged her name on financial documents that were entered into the case.
* Hounded her and tried to use lawyers to intimidate her into changing their prenup.
In yesterday’s ruling, Judge Convery also blasted Strahan for not remembering his wedding anniversary or wife’s birthday.
Jean Strahan got the news of the decision at her lawyer’s office. She exclaimed: “I’m going to Disney World!”

Takin a Ride on the Man Side?

In 2006, Strahan’s wife accused the biggest member of Brett Favre’s fanclub of having an extramarital affair with a MAN. (Oh My). It was reported on June 26, 2006 on the Outsports.com website (http://www.outsports.com/nfl/2006/0621strahan.htm)
that:

“The wife of New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan coyly accused her husband of having an extramarital affair with another man, TV doctor Ian Smith, in their divorce proceedings on Tuesday, the New York Daily News is reporting.

“Michael moved into Ian’s one-bedroom apartment,” Jean Strahan said, according to the Daily News. “And you can say an alternative lifestyle sprouted.” Her lawyer then stopped her before she could elaborate, the Daily News reports.

Both Robert Penza, Michael Strahan’s attorney, and Smith denied a sexual relationship between Smith and Strahan…”